foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

(via workmantwerkman)

keatchi:

itssofluffy-im-gonna-die:

h4te:

i want to go on a shopping trip where i am the only one in the shopping mall and everything i want is free

that’s called night robbery 

so be it

(Source: h4te, via thelostchildneedshope)

snorlaxatives:

shootingstarm:

snorlaxatives:

does anyone else remember how fucking ugly timmy turner was in jimmy neutrons universe

image

I actually think Jimmy Neutron is uglier.

image

(Source: snorlaxatives, via bakingisscienceforhungrypeople)

freekahzoid:

broken-gaydar:

starrygraveyard:

andr3wdost:

nathanieljosephruess:

herfunnyvideos:

lockedinabirdcage:

GUYS I JUST REALIZED WHY PAPER BEATS ROCK OH MY GOD

PAPER SYMBOLIZES WORDS WHICH SYMBOLIZES BRAINS

AND ROCK SYMBOLIZES BRAWN.

BRAINS OVER BRAWN.

MIND OVER MATTER.

PAPER OVER ROCK.

You clever little shit.

then what the fuck does scissors mean

lesbians

what

image

LMFAO

(via veeelosoraptor)